the power of marijuana, kids
(via thecrownedheart)
I like him, but he is a bit messy….
(Source: basaliskos, via steampunkgaymer)
Housecat meets bobcat
“why are you trapped in there, tiny orange bobcat”
tiny orange bobcat: “did you get kicked out cos you pee on the sofa too?
(via sirsuffix)
hey everyone, lets talk about how syphilis didnt appear in Europe till after Christopher Columbus came back from America but didnt exist in people from the Americas either until then. lets talk about how the only animals syphilis was found in before then were llamas.
no im not kidding we need to talk about this
(Source: saucylittledevil, via a-damn-wizard)
This is how my gay mind eye imagines a woman having sex with many men: TOO MUCH WORK! STAH IT!
(Source: newkidsonmycock11, via sirsuffix)
A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife,
“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”
She responds, “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”
attagirl!
(via steampunkgaymer)